Writing this in November, 2023, I would like to thank my wife of 68 years, and how vital she has been in the production of this column over these many years. Besides, you may be interested to hear how I nearly missed marring Susan. I was a dicey situation.
I met Susan by chance. I was about to end my surgical training at the Harvard Medical School. One morning as I was ending teaching students, one said to me, “I know you are a Canadian and I’m dating a girl at Wellesley College who knows a girl from Toronto. You should meet her.” I was not interested as I was 31 years of age. I knew this young lady would be years younger. But then I learned there would be a dance at Harvard’s medical residence. That got me interested to see the residence again that I had lived in for four years.
So, I met her that evening of the dance. I was impressed and it started a great love affair. But there was major problem. Her classmates took note of my many appearances at Wellesley College and said to Susan, “He’s a nice guy, but he is so old.” Susan told me about their concern, and I began worry. After finding her was I about to lose her? There was no way to make me younger and I could understand their concerns.
With a pinch of luck and a lot of persuasion, our dates continued. A year later, after her graduation, we were married in Toronto. Ever since, I’ve been grateful I did not make the worst mistake of my life. What if I had decided not to attend the dance? It sends chills down my spine.
What an asset Susan has been! She majored in English. How lucky for me. I started to write this medical column with zero training in journalism. I was fortunate the editors didn’t toss me out the door. Susan had the right reaction when I started to handwrite a medical book for the pubic. She began to laugh and said, “You’re going to do what?” I had to accept that I was no great writer, and many newspaper editors would have agreed with her if she hadn’t stepped in.
Susan, for 68 years and counting, has edited everything I’ve authored. And I have a confession. After all these years of seeing her corrections, one would think I would be able to right a column with no need for any corrections. But I’ve never been able to accomplish it. There’s always a missing comma or some grammatical mistake.
Now what worries me? It’s been said that the male sex is physically stronger. But I’m convinced the female sex is the strongest emotionally. Being nine years older, I’ve always assumed I’d die first. But as we both get older, it becomes a roll of the dice. I wonder now how I could ever live without her presence. I’d be devastated. As over the years, so many aspects of my existence, in so many aspects of daily life, have centered around her.
What’s the irony? Susan’s classmates, who warned her about my age, are now all dead. But she and I carry on.
All those years ago I was madly in love with Susan. Now, I pass along this advice to young people considering marriage. It’s a very simple message by which to measure the ultimate love affair. “In the years far ahead, after a long marriage, I hope that today’s young couples will love each other more than they do on the day they get married.”
